Countless couples must marry in red

Apr 24 2009 by Bill Oldfield, The Journal

MY daughter’s getting married later this year. Having lived in London for seven years, she’s getting married there. Which means, if she wants to get married anywhere more expensive, she might like to test the availability of the International Space Station.

My extensive internet research shows that the cost of a wedding these days averages between a mind-boggling £20,000 and an absolutely astonishing £25,000.

Now if you, like me, know of people who’ve got married in the North East spending no more than £500 for an all-in bash including pies and beer, this enormous national average has to be balanced by weddings in London that obviously cost slightly more than a starter home. With a garage. And carpets. Fully furnished. In Chelsea.

Just thinking about the wedding process brings me out in a sweat.

Just list some of what needs buying: wedding dress; shoes; suits; bridesmaids’ dresses; shoes; photographer; video taker; shoes; flowers; cars; honeymoon; more shoes; disco or band; not to mention the prenuptial agreement lawyer’s fees – and suddenly £3.50 for a wedding certificate doesn’t seem quite such a bargain.

For the meal alone, I’ve found venues merrily send out quotes for £100 per head or more. For that much I’d expect a couple of Rolls-Royces thrown in, plus the honeymoon suite and a bonus weekend away with the bridesmaids.

Say you’re lucky enough to have 50 people whom you’d really like to invite to your wedding, that’s £5,000. Add to that your work colleagues, your relatives, various children and some people you’ve never met but you’re told are essential, and you’ll be up at 150 in no time and dinner’s costing £15,000. That’s just for a meal.

At Oldfields, as eating houses rather than hotels, we’re not big wedding venues but we do host the smaller ones. We love doing them because these smaller weddings are nearly always not first marriages, so the couple have some experience in the matter and tend to decide they’d rather spend their money on something more important – like a pension. Or in these economic times, when our investments don’t promise a return, perhaps a holiday.

These smaller affairs are usually more relaxed, they’re almost always fun days, everyone is usually in a good mood and, for us, it’s a lot easier than doing à la carte meals when everybody chooses something different.

So, say we’re hosting 50 of you. If we were to charge a hundred quid, that’s five grand to us before you even start drinking. And if we’re to compare ourselves with London rates, it’s obvious we’re way too cheap, need to rethink our business plan and stick our prices up. But somehow, I think the canny North East folk like value for money and wouldn’t wear it.