Colmans, 182-186 Ocean Rd, South Shields

Feb 20 2009 by Geoff Laws, The Journal

TOP of the list of the 50 Best of British comes fish and chips. We love ‘em! The royal family only make number 10, two below the Beatles, with Margaret Thatcher and Morris Dancing languishing at the bottom of the poll.

It’s an interesting cross section of national favourites with other foodstuffs like cream teas, Cornish pasties, the Sunday roast and Cheddar cheese, featuring much further down the list.

One of the difficulties for me about fish and chips is that it’s rarely done well enough to cross the threshold for this column, which is where Colmans in South Shields differs from the rest. It is, without doubt, an exemplary establishment and a superb advertisement for how good this all-time great meal can be in the right hands.

Colmans brilliance was recognised in 2008 when they became the UKTV Local Food Hero. Confident of their place among the best, this year has found them on the very shortest of short lists – runner-up out of 11,500 contestants in a national competition to find the best fish and chip restaurant. We turned up in Colmans on the eve of those finals, when the staff were eagerly anticipating their trip to London for Champagne and celebrations, convinced they were on a winning streak.

The menu described not only the food but also the history of the restaurant, from its original 1905 beach hut through to today’s gleaming emporium on the aptly named Ocean Road. Everything about the place sparkles, including the jovial staff whose cheery conversation helped make this a meal to remember.

It all started with the simplest of orders, cod and chips for me and haddock and chips for my companion. Both dishes arrived sizzling hot and in gargantuan amounts. The crunchy, crisp batter peaked and folded around the softest white fish, which was as fresh as could be.

As our knives cut through it, the batter crackled its resistance but accepted its destiny. The thick cut chips, piled up across the plate, were from the same school. These golden chunks of deep fried potato were the best example of how chips should be.

The reason why these foundation ingredients to the meal were so good lay in the fryers, human and mechanical. The former managed the latter so that the temperatures and timing produced perfect results. For me, the acid test is if chips stay chunky crisp to the very end, with none of that wimpy wilting so common with the matchstick thin fries that get passed off as chips. Colmans versions were chip hunks and the batter on the fish matched them stride for stride.

A ramekin of mushy peas, a wedge of fresh lemon and pot of tartare sauce offered variety to the foundation elements. Fish and chips has to have a cup of tea, and bread and butter, just in case there’s a chip butty moment. The mini-stottie and Flora would have been the perfect combination, except that when the moment arrived my appetite was well past the finishing post.

Amazingly, after a short break, I managed to sample the sweet delights of the apple crumble and custard. My companion was already full and hardly touched her treacle sponge. This meal confirmed fish and chips, when done this well, is the original and best fast food.

Colmans fantastic second in the national competition this year proves they are in a class of their own. Although second in the nation, they’re outright winners for me and numero uno in the North East.