Taking pole position for festive fun
Dec 12 2006 By Tara Brady, The Journal
Santa may live at the North Pole - but he certainly won't be dancing around it in quite the same way as some office staff this Christmas. Tara Brady investigates.
As Christmas approaches, the notorious office party gets into full swing. But the new way of bonding with your work colleagues at this year's `do' won't involve dancing around the Christmas tree.
This year, workers are being invited to spin, flip, wiggle and twist their way around a pole. Pole-dancing has exploded across the UK as the fitness craze du jour with celebrity kudos.
Poles are popping up simply everywhere - from Kate Moss's boudoir to high street lingerie departments.
Tesco even came up with the controversial idea of marketing pole-dancing kits as stocking fillers for little girls.
So I am in two minds when I am invited to an office Christmas party hosted by one of the UK's leading pole-dance schools.
The first thought running through my head is one of a seedy strip club, where women dance for money. But I quite fancy learning how to pole dance à la Kate Moss and, after all, this is a party.
As I walk into the club at The Venue on Market Street, Newcastle, the party is well underway with revellers making full use of the bar.
On arrival, I am handed a complimentary glass of champagne and my Santa's party hat for the evening.
I am waiting to hear the loud raucous voice of Noddie Holder inform partygoers that it is indeed Christmas - when I look up and see it.
I begin to understand why people worship this piece of metal. The pole glistens as it dominates the middle of the dance floor and then the dread sinks in.
Memories came flooding back of being the kid at school who could never get the whole way across the climbing frame. I know there were two things I need to do this - upper body strength, and alcohol.
The party is courtesy of DIY Divas, which is based in Newcastle and hosts office parties with a seasonal twist.
Dawn Love, former Stringfellows dancer and Dreamgirls model, is the brain and the drive behind the DIY Divas Pole-Dancing Academy.
Miss Love, a 40-year-old single mother originally from South Shields but now of Osborne Road, in Jesmond, Newcastle, built her acclaimed business from nothing, and has travelled all over the world dancing.
She has choreographed routines for TV documentaries and is no stranger to celebrity, having worked with many media and pop stars including Robbie Williams.
Now she hopes her festive pole parties will bring a little spice and imagination to the regular office shindig. She says: "The office party can be such a chore. We're trying to inject some fun back into the annual event."
As the Dutch courage begins to take effect, I warm to the idea of swinging myself around the pole.
It's hard work. Leaping up, wrapping your legs around 8ft of cold metal and sliding yourself down gracefully - while pretending to be Demi Moore in that little film she made some 10 years ago - is not as easy as it looks.
Amateur pole-dancers Melanie Allan, 18, of Westerhope, Newcastle, and Melanie Johnson, also 18, of North Shields, teach me some of their best moves.
I try to unleash the inner showgirl as I approach the pole. My pulse is racing. People stop what they are doing and turn to look at me. This is going to be either fun or completely mortifying.
I tighten my grip on the metal pole and place my right leg as high as my skirt will let me. With one swift move I leap from the floor.
Now I wish I could say that I worked that pole like a professional - shimmying, swinging and spinning.
But, instead of finding my inner burlesque self, I seem to re-enact that scene from Bridget Jones's Diary where she careers inelegantly down the fireman's pole.
As I land in a heap on the floor, I do my best to avoid the starfish pose - that is, with legs akimbo.
Uproar ensues as I push my blushing self up, using my now-clammy hands. But the atmosphere is brilliant. Everyone claps and cheers as I take a tentative bow.
There's something quite wild about hurling yourself around a pole, tossing your hair and going slightly bonkers. And for that reason it's great for an office Christmas party.
I mean, think of your boss who hasn't cracked a smile since you've started work there and now imagine him doing "the helicopter" 8ft in the air.
And do I feel slightly cheap? No.
I can't believe how physically demanding it is. Pole-dancers have to be very accomplished and athletic. The skill of being able to do an upside-down pole spin certainly earns my respect.
And there's nothing pornographic about bruising your body, training hard and practising dangerous and dazzling gymnastic tricks on a pole. As the night goes on, everyone has a go.
Even the men are prepared to try. This is a slightly disturbing role reversal, but highly amusing. One, being cheered on by a load of women while he swings around a pole in his best office trousers attempting to defy gravity, is well worth a watch.
By the end of the evening, the temptation for the blokes to sport a pair of spangly glass stilettos and a lurex outfit is certainly evident.
These office Christmas parties are being held in Newcastle, Edinburgh and Glasgow throughout December and January.
For £25 per head, partygoers receive expert pole- dancing instruction, a Santa hat, bubbly, mince pies and chocolates. It's great if you are looking for a change of scene or feel like you want to release that inner diva. And you don't have to be scantly-clad. This is an office party - not a night at Stringfellows - after all. I certainly had a memorable experience, feeling like I was 10 again and mucking around on school gym apparatus.
Even though I spent plenty of time on my backside, and struggling to keep a straight face, I found the evening extremely entertaining. I ridded myself of deep-rooted inhibitions regarding pole-dancing and left feeling fit and confident.
There is nothing salubrious about it at all. It is just good clean fun.
The following day, I return to show my work mates what I learned in an amateur performance. By this point my arms feel like I have been lifting weights all night. One thing that surprises me is just how many of my work colleagues would like to have a go.
This is the new trendy past-time and it's definitely an interesting team-building exercise, helping you to lose those inhibitions and learn a bit more about your work colleagues.
And, if you're bored with the usual Christmas party, this is sure to get everyone in a spin.
So, as I'm walking down the high street doing my Christmas shopping this year for that all-important Christmas party frock, it won't be builders' whistles that get my attention.
It will be what they are working on. Scaffolding, and the poles that support it, have just become strangely attractive.
* For more information, contact Dawn Love of DIY Divas on (0871) 474-8130.
Top five moves on the pole this Festive season are:
The Christmas Cracker - Upside-down flip.
Santa Surprise - Hook leg around pole and swing around to ground, with a flick of the leg.
The Rudolph Stag - A big twist around pole to end on all fours with leg hooked around the pole.
Mistletoe Kiss - Grab the pole and the top, pull up, lean back and blow a kiss.
The Snowflake Queen - Pull up on the pole, hook one leg around the pole and reach up and out with arm and leg to form a snowflake shape.
Things not to do at the office party
1. talk about WORK
This is a social occasion, not a meeting.
2. TELL YOUR COLLEAGUES ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE
After a few drinks, you may tell the wrong person you're having an affair or that your grandmother has a drink problem. Even the cleaning staff will know about it by Monday morning.
3. HIT ON A WORK COLLEAGUE
Don't let Dutch courage persuade you to ask your manager out on a date.
4. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHRISTMAS BUFFET
Just because you're not paying it doesn't mean you should pig-out like you don't know where your next meal is coming from. Stuffing your handbag with mince pies is not a smart career move.
5. ASK FOR A PAY RISE
Although your boss may be smiling, it's not a good time to discuss your salary expectations.
6. HAVE A ROW
Do not decide to bring up that long list of grievances that you have had with your arch rival who is sitting opposite you.
7. RECIPROCATE ADVANCES FROM MARRIED COLLEAGUES
It will complicate the work situation.
8. BE ANTISOCIAL
Make an effort to be jolly and sociable. Don't corner one poor individual and bore them with details of your last business meeting.
