Playing the name game

Dec 8 2006 By Bob Cuffe, The Journal

My name has been misspelt many, many times. They usually get the first letter right. Cuff, Cwffe, Clough, Cruff, Cough have all been regulars.

In recent weeks I've had three new versions. An insurance company would be very happy to do business with Mr Cuffeee.

If I ever meet him, I'll let him know - and commiserate with him that his name sounds like a shout. Another company - whom we've been customers with for years - decided to give a new version a whirl.

I can only conclude it was someone on their last day having a laugh - and that we weren't alone in having a brand new identity.

The letter was addressed to Cement Woman aka Linda Puffe. The final twist came from the police. A little minx had decided to break my car window. Bless him. I hope Christmas brings him nothing but joy.

Which reminds me- not many shoplifting days until Christmas. Anyway, I contacted the police, who, as you'll imagine were terribly interested. The operator took my name and said that if they had absolutely nothing else to do, someone would be in touch at some time in the future. She asked me my surname.

I could tell she wasn't listening. Why should she - it's not as though her job would depend on listening skills. So I spelt CUFFE phonetically.

The call was taking longer than the operator wanted. I could tell she was getting irritated, and was glad about the crime. `Initial?' she inquired. I replied `R for Robert'. A couple of days later the policeman rang for Arthur Robert Cuffe.

So, this is me, Arthur Robert Puffe, wishing you a good weekend. Any other peculiar names out there?