Love

Aug 12 2008 by Hannah Davies, The Journal

Hannah Davies investigates whether being married can make you happier, and even healthier.

I can’t begin to tell you how happy my marriage has made me.” Evelyn Ashurst, 83, speaks with joy in her voice, which speaks volumes about her 63-year-old marriage to husband Jimmy, 84.

The Newcastle couple would appear to be the perfect embodiment of research which shows marriage makes for a much happier life generally than the singleton route.

New information seems to keep on coming out recently extolling the virtues of a marriage and its impact on not only emotional but also on a person’s physical well-being.

Married men have a longer life expectancy than single men and both sexes are less likely to spend time in hospital with single people spending twice as much time undergoing treatment.

And now, according to the latest research, people who are unmarried or not living with a partner in mid-life could have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease.

The study by the Karolinksa Institute shows that people who are married or living with a significant other have 50% less chance of being affected by dementia than those living alone.

It is thought this is to do with the social aspects of sharing your life with another person.

But speaking to Evelyn and Jimmy it is clear a deep love and contentment with the other lights up their lives in innumerable ways.

The couple, from Salters Road, Gosforth, are as happy as the first day they got together.

They met during the war, at the Royalty Cinema in Gosforth, where Evelyn worked. Jimmy, a former miner and railway worker, says: “I met Evelyn in 1943, she came over here from Ireland to work in Newcastle. I suppose I was initially attracted to her looks, and she’s still great looking.”

Evelyn adds: “It was love at first sight. When I saw Jimmy I said to my friend, ‘that’s the man who I’m going to marry’.”

The couple wed in 1945 at St Charles’ Church, Gosforth, where they are still members of the congregation today. They have one daughter Marie, two grandsons, Scott and Steven and they have two great-grandchildren, Steven and Holly.

Evelyn and Jimmy, as they natter together, exude good humour and sprits.

Jim smiles: “Being married has definitely made me happy. It makes most people happy, I’d say.

“The best thing about marriage to me is... well everything is good about marriage but maybe I’m one of the lucky ones!”

Evelyn adds: “I can’t explain how happy my marriage has made me.

“I’m in love and still as happy as ever. We love each other very much we do everything together.”

Evelyn also speaks of the security she has gained.

“Jim’s worked hard all of his life and provided us with everything we’ve needed,” she says.

“I couldn’t express to you how happy I’ve been. The only thing which worries me is if the good Lord separates us.”

Jim is clear about what makes their marriage work. “You just have to get along and that’s it. Also we do everything and anything with each other. I have had a very happy marriage and I do think being in a marriage keeps your mind healthy because you’ve always got that companionship.”

That would agree with the opinion of doctors for the Alzheimer’s Society.

“Some evidence suggests remaining socially active may reduce your risk of dementia and living with someone is certainly a good way of increasing social interaction,” Dr Susanne Sorensen from the Alzheimer’s Society says.

“However, there are many other lifestyle factors associated with being married that may help reduce your risk of dementia, whether it’s reaching for the vacuum cleaner or going for long romantic walks.”

Health issues aside, Evelyn is happy to share her medicine for a happy union. “The secret of a happy marriage is just first of all love each other, trust each other and always be honest and have faith in each other.”

Being married has definitely made me happy. It makes most people happy, I’d say.