When their unborn baby died during an Italian holiday, Edyta Weronska and Aston Bowles found themselves making difficult decisions far from home. They tell their story to KAREN WILSON

As the baby was due the same week that Charlie was born, Edyta chose to be induced on August 11 2009 rather than risk having the same birthday, which Aston says “would’ve been a bit weird and a bit grim”.

The birth at the RVI was a breeze.

“I was so looking forward to the pain because I felt like I would get a prize at the end of it, rather than go through it and come home with nothing,” says Edyta.

“It might sound really silly but I really enjoyed giving birth! The midwives were amazing. You’re not just a person – they actually give a damn.”

However, when Edyta first held baby Daisy she felt nothing. “I felt so guilty thinking what if it never comes? But then suddenly it overwhelms you. Women should know that it doesn’t always come straight away.”

And Aston saw Daisy’s resemblance to Charlie straight away. “You could tell they were brother and sister,” he says.

Looking back, Edyta is philosophical about her experience.

“Losing the baby is just the beginning,” she says. “Your whole life is affected by it. But I do want to be happy and I don’t want this to bring me down and destroy my life.”

Adds Aston: “We realised If we didn’t deal with this in a positive, constructive way it could consume us.”

This year the couple went back to Lake Como and visited the midwife that delivered Charlie. “She remembered us and it was emotional,” says Edyta. “It was nice to be able to say thank you.” They also plan to remember Charlie with a family picnic each year and will tell Daisy she had a brother when she’s older.

At the time the couple felt they didn’t need counselling as they had each other.

But recently Edyta visited support group Durham Sands (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death) as she wanted to become a befriender. The experience was a revelation.

“I wish someone had told me about Sands and I wish I’d gone earlier,” she says.

“It’s amazing to talk to a group of people who actually know what you’re on about.”

Now she has set up a monthly Sands group for Newcastle and Gateshead.

“Talking helps,” she says. “When it was fresh it was all I wanted to talk about, you feel compelled, but people think you’re mad or they don’t want to mention it.

“You think you’re crazy when you go to the doctor every week because you’re worried, but talking to people at Sands you find out that’s normal.”

The next meeting of Newcastle Sands is October 31 at St George’s Church Hall in Jesmond, from 7.30pm to 9.30pm. Visit www.newcastle-sands.org for more information

Seventeen babies die every day in the UK (10 are stillbirths, seven are neonatal deaths) totalling 6,500 baby deaths a year.

The stillbirth rate has remained almost unchanged for 10 years.

One in every 200 babies are stillborn in the UK (when a baby is born dead after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy).

One in every 300 babies born in the UK die in the first four weeks of life (neonatal death).

In half of all stillbirths the cause remains unexplained, although in more than half of these pregnancies the baby is smaller than it should be.

Many of these babies are born perfectly formed, with no clear reason why they died. Sands (Stillbirth & Neonatal Death) wants more research into these deaths.

For more information about Sands, log on to www.uk-sands.org or call the confidential helpline on 020 7436 5881.