Fostering is a 24-hour job that requires love, dedication and a lot of hard work. LIZ LAMB chats to two women who have experienced the highs and lows of looking after someone else’s child.

SAYING goodbye to the two little boys she had lovingly looked after for a year was a heart-wrenching moment for foster mum Lesley Muter.

There were tears and pangs of sadness as the youngsters left to begin a new life with another mum and dad who had adopted them.

Lesley, along with husband Stephen, had formed a special bond with the toddlers since they had arrived on their doorstep, emotionally vulnerable, withdrawn and neglected.

“It was a very difficult job but very rewarding and I loved them to pieces,” says the 53-year-old. “When they first came to us they were very traumatised. They had no language, they were in nappies and their development was delayed. They had been neglected by their parents and were in an awful state. They were very difficult. They would have massive tantrums and up to 30 seizures a day, all brought on by temper fits.

“For the first six months I thought I couldn’t cope.”

Lesley and Stephen, 54, an electrician, persevered in caring for the two and three-year-olds at their home in Newbiggin-by-the-Sea and their hard work and dedication paid off. By the time the boys left them to go to new parents they were happy and loving children who had learned to trust adults again.

“Really in a nutshell what any child needs, what they all need, is love, affection, tolerance, consistency and some fun,” explains Lesley.

“If you can put these things in place and keep on doing it, it can make a huge difference. For these little boys their lives were totally turned around, they became happy, marvellous little boys.

“When you foster a child you have to know their history. It’s just heartbreaking. You cry bucket loads and think ‘oh my god how can a person do that to these children’. It’s quite harrowing but it’s that part of the process that makes you want to be so much better for the children.

“I might not be perfect but I will do my damn best to be better.”

Lesley and Stephen, who have four children of their own, have cared for over 30 children since they became foster carers in October 1997, and currently look after a 17-year-old.

“There are millions of reasons why children end up in foster care,” says Lesley. “They could have been neglected or there’s been a bereavement or illness within the family, problems with alcohol and drugs, there might be child protection issues and sexual abuse. I have had mother and baby placements too where the mother might just be 14 and they need help.”

Saying goodbye is one of the unfortunate downsides of fostering.