SARAH Millican couldn’t give two hoots about a pot of gold at the end of the 121-date tour rainbow she’s currently riding. All she wants is enough time to wash and dry her underwear in the confines of her Manchester flat and a “bloody big milk” in the fridge.
“At the moment whenever I’m at home, it’s for less than 24 hours,” says the 35-year-old comic. “So there’s no point in getting anything other than those tiny milks which will sort you out a bowl of cereal and a couple of cups of tea.
“When this is finished, I’m going to buy a milk that would serve a family of 12 and just work my way through it..”
At the time of our mid-morning Malmaison meet-up on Newcastle’s Quayside, there were two weeks of touring to go. But as you’re reading this, the South Shields-bred Sarah will be just one night away from her four-pinter.
“I am very tired,” she admits, as we choose a couch and crack open a bottle of the Quayside hotel’s best still water.
It doesn’t take Galileo to work out why.
Not only has she already completed more than 110 tour dates of Chatterbox, (which came aftera month-long if.comedy-award-nominated stint at the Edinburgh Fringe); but she’s also in the midst of writing and recording the second batch of comedy series Support Group for Radio Four; has become a regular Loose Woman on the ITV1 daytime talk show, (as well as a familiar face across the TV channel chat and panel show board); and to top it all off, she’s putting the final touches to her first DVD, out in December.
Nearly seven years since her first stand-up gig in Newcastle, Sarah’s diary is booked up to May 2012, thanks to this year’s Edinburgh run and the associated announcement of her next national tour. Thoroughly Modern Millican plays seven nights at The Journal Tyne Theatre in Newcastle next spring (the seventh date - April 12 goes on sale on Thursday).
“I can’t remember the last time I had a day off when it didn’t have at least a couple of hours of writing, or travelling, or admin to do. It’s great, but knackering at the same time,” she says.
“The other day I was stuck on the tarmac on the way back from an Ireland gig, because of a technical thing. All I could think of when faced with the prospect of potentially dying - which is always what immediately comes into my head – was to text my family and boyfriend to tell them I loved them and take the chance to have a nap... and also that I wouldn’t have to finish that Support Group script,” she adds, peeling into her now signature giggle.
The six-part Radio 4 series will be done and dusted by the time the curtain comes down on the final tour date this week.
“Then I’m going away with some friends to a spa where we sit in a hot tub and watch the rabbits... or we did until they culled them,” she adds with a sigh. “We’re hoping they will have repopulated. A few days after that I’m back to work. But it won’t be as mental or as travelly.